my apologies

hello everyone!  it's been awhile, i know.  i will admit that i had a little case of the blogger blues.  i will talk more about that in a minute, but i have a better attitude now--and i'm on summer vacation!  the last week of school was HECTIC and i got pretty burned out which was part of the reason for the blogging break.  then i enrolled in an online blogging class that has been incredibly informative and it's helping me get back into the swing of the things.
one of the "lessons" discussed blog authenticity and staying true to yourself and to your readers.  the instructor talked about following through with your promises.  i have been terrible about this--not because i am fake but because of time constraints.  she said that if you say you are going to write a weekly column, then do it.  i started running two weekly columns (foto finish and thrifty thursday) and those fell to the wayside. i may revamp this blog and do away with them being weekly articles since i cannot follow through with them. 

my focus for my blog is not to air dirty laundry or complain about things.  however, i have been feeling discouraged about blogging for a solid month--so much so that i wanted to stop blogging because i felt that no one cared.  yes, this is a relatively new blog, and i must realize that building a following takes time.  i have to post interesting content and post it regularly.  i started out slowly on purpose, not wanting to get overwhelmed by posting every single day because i wanted to enjoy it.  i definitely didn't expect to become an overnight success, especially since this little corner of the internet is still finding it's voice and direction.

i'm very scared of failing at this and if i can admit this to all of you...i am sooo insecure!  i am an artist and i think that artists are some of the most insecure people.  i won't speak for everyone but i think it's true.  BUT...i have to put myself out there to be heard and overcome my fear of failing.  if i don't, it will be that insecurity that causes my failure.
  so, in trying to overcome these destructive feelings, i have a confession to make.  i ran a contest back in May in the hopes of building my blog viewership.  i promised a gift certificate to my Etsy shop to a random winner.  there were several ways to enter.  this is extremely painful for me to admit, but NO ONE participated.  that sent my confidence level to the floor and i nearly quit the whole thing because i really didn't think anyone cared.  i honestly still don't know if anyone cares but the important thing is that I DO!  i want to share my creative aspirations with you.  i want to write about my life even if it's interesting to no one but myself.  i am doing this for ME above anyone else.  (i think my mom reads all my posts, though, so i guess that's 2 people who really care!)

i started blogging for a few reasons.  i like to write and i like to be creative.  a blog lets me do both at the same time.  thurston post is somewhat of an online diary that i can go back to and read in the future to see what i was doing in June 2012.  i can see the projects i worked on and the photos i took.  my family lives on the east coast while i live on the west coast and this is also a good way for them to keep up with what's going on with me.  i'm hoping to connect with other like-minded people, as well.  hopefully, (someday) there will be people out there who come across this blog and find something here that speaks to them.  lastly, i sell my handmade greeting cards on Etsy and this blog helps promote them.  i can also offer more photos of the cards and details of the design process.  so even though i am doing this for ME above anyone else, i'd still like to grow my readership.  i just need more will happen.

well, i've blathered on long enough.  if you stayed for this entire post, my sincerest thanks.  you will notice the self portraits.  i took them for my last project of my photography class.  our assignment was to do a photo essay and the instructor asked us to challenge ourselves.  i decided to go the extremely personal route and photograph my insecurity.  because this post is largely about that very same thing, i'm showing you some of the photos from the essay. 

NOTE: i did not post a winner for the contest like i said i would, simply because there wasn't one.  [if you feel that you did participate and were overlooked, please send me an email and tell me.  it was not my intention to advertise a contest with a prize and not deliver a winner if there indeed was one.] 

thank you for reading...i truly appreciate each person who reads this blog.